Mirco-dating – the 10-minute Dating Technique to Help Restore your Connection

It’s easy for relationships to suffer when time is one of our most precious resources and more opportunities come back into our lives. But there’s a new way to foster romance without losing a huge chunk of your day. 

When you are in a relationship it is hard to find the time and money to have large, extravagant date nights – with other aspects of life constantly getting in the way. So how do you continue to strengthen your relationship with your partner? Based on findings from clinical psychologists at the US Gottman Institute, the next thing you should try is micro-dating.

A micro date is 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with your partner to try and reconnect with no distractions. This may be cooking together, having a quick dinner, playing a game, or just sitting and talking to one another.

Rachel emphasised that it’s not about the amount of time but rather the intention of spending what time you have connecting with your partner.

“If you’re distracted, you’re less likely to get to the kind of communication that makes you feel close. And sometimes you really are listening while you scroll through your phone, but the point is the other person is perceiving that as not being important enough for you to put it down and give your undivided attention and to be a priority. It’s about making them feel important,” Rachel explains.

This is all about initiating physical and emotional intimacy again. Just being in the same space or home does not equate to connecting on a deep level.

“You might think, it’s 10 minutes, what is it going to do?’ But it makes a huge difference in how you communicate and how you feel. We know that by setting aside quality time you’re more likely to feel closer and less likely to get annoyed about smaller things,” Rachel says.

There is also no set number of times you should be engaging in this with your partner. It is about quality over quantity. However, planning out your approach to your time together and considering what you would like to do and when will help you get the most out of micro dating.

This is especially helpful if you’re having relationship problems. Making a time to sit down and talk about these issues in a safe and positive space can open up the conversation and result in better conflict resolution.

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