The Relationship Room

Supporting a partner through mental health challenges can be incredibly tough for both of you. It’s often a confusing and frustrating experience – trying to understand their condition, longing for things to return to “normal,” and continuing with your own life amidst it all. It’s natural to want your partner back in their healthiest state, but mental health is complex and can require a combination of time, treatments and medications to find the right balance. Once stabilisation is achieved, the true work of maintaining long-term mental wellbeing can begin.

Time and time again, we hear clients talk about the disruption mental health imposes on their lives and those closest around them. Having worked with hundreds of couples and families dealing with mental health challenges, I’ve compiled a list of dos and don’ts based on the perspectives of those experiencing these struggles.

✅ Do be patient
Don’t ask them constantly how they are feeling but instead, remind them that you are there to listen and available to them at any time.

✅ Do gently encourage and make kind gestures
Don’t underestimate kind gestures, maybe it’s a note of support on how proud you are of them, or a bunch of flowers to brighten their day. It’s nice to know that your love is unwavering.

✅ Do support their professional treatment plans
Don’t think that you know best or that they should cut corners. It is going to take some time. If you have serious concerns with their treatment, ask them for consent to privately make contact with their doctor or therapist.

✅ Do get support yourself
It’s important that you have an inner circle or even professional support to not only help you say and do the right things, but express how you are feeling.

❌ Don’t offer answers and solutions to their problems
Just be curious, perhaps ask them to explain more or validate how hard it must be for them, rather than jumping to advice giving.

❌ Don’t diagnose them
Diagnosing is for the professionals. It’s dangerous to suggest they may have something they don’t have, especially at a time when they are feeling anxious and vulnerable.

❌ Don’t talk about their challenges with others unless you have their consent
Mental health can be a private matter reserved for family and close friends. Don’t assume you can talk about your partner’s challenges to just anyone without their consent.

❌ Don’t get frustrated when they are not well or the progress is slow
The pressure to get well, especially quickly, from external parties is not helpful. No one wants to get better more than the person struggling.

As a partner, it’s important to understand that mental health is a journey – one that may not have a clear or predictable path. Each day can be different, and patience is crucial, both for your partner and for yourself as you navigate this challenge together. While it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, remember that small acts of love, empathy, and support can make a profound difference over time.

Supporting a partner through mental health struggles is never straightforward, and there will be both highs and lows along the way. But by practicing patience, encouraging professional help, and prioritising open communication, you can foster a supportive environment where healing can truly begin. It’s not about fixing the problem, but about standing by them through the process, offering unconditional love and understanding every step of the way.