The Relationship Room

Emotional abuse can be harder to spot because it doesn’t leave a bruise. However, it can feel as destructive and damaging as physical abuse and can severely impact your mental health. It’s often used as a way to maintain power and control over someone. Here are some ways to identify it.⁠

Intimidation: Emotional abusers may use intimidation tactics to control their partner. This can involve threatening behaviour, such as yelling, throwing things, or making violent gestures. It can also involve non-verbal cues, such as standing too close, invading your personal space, or using threatening body language. Intimidation can make you feel scared and powerless and can be a precursor to physical violence.

Constant criticism: If you partner frequently criticises you, belittles your opinions or achievements, and makes you feel like you can’t do anything right, this is a sign of emotional abuse. Your partner may also use insults or name-calling to demean you.

Blaming: Emotional abusers often shift the blame for their own behaviour onto their partners. They may accuse you of causing their anger or frustration or blame you for their own mistakes or problems. This can make you feel guilty and responsible for things that are not your fault.

Isolation: Emotional abusers often try to isolate their partners from friends and family members. They may discourage you from spending time with people you love or try to limit your communication with others. This can leave you feeling lonely, trapped, and dependent on your partner.

Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where an abuser makes their partner doubt their own reality. This can involve denying things that actually happened or insisting that you’re crazy or imagining things. Gaslighting can make you feel confused, disorientated, and powerless.