The Relationship Room

Here are some tips on how to manage conflict with your partner. 

1. Soften your start-up;

How we start a conversation can predict how the conversation will end. Using a gentle or softened start-up when approaching conflict, as opposed to a harsh start up, can help you both feel heard and seen. Express how you feel and what you need.

2. Learn to make and receive repair attempts;

Repair attempts can move the conversation into a more positive interaction, such as engaging in behaviours that maintain emotional connection and emphasising “we/us” over individual needs.

3. Soothe yourself and each other;

Emotional self-regulation can help de-escalate the conversation. Recognise the signs of escalation and share this with your partner so you can take time to soothe yourselves.

4. Compromise;

Accepting influence from your partner and entering into a collaborative conversation with a focus on compromise ensures each partner has their needs met.

5. Process any grievances so they don’t linger:

Processing past hurts through an open dialogue can help to resolve any lingering conflict and resentment. Keep the focus on shared concern for the wellbeing of the relationship.

This article contains original content from The Relationship Room.