Would Your Partner Pass the Cheating Test?
If you have watched any reality, romance TV recently, you will be familiar with the idea of a “the test”, seeing how your prospective partner behaves around others. While used to enhance drama in reality TV shows, it is not that far removed from reality. Many individuals often create their own tests in real life to see how their partner would respond. With the rise of social media, more and more people are getting other individuals to try and “slide” into their partner’s DM, testing their loyalty online as well as in person.
This idea is seen on the popular TV show, Love Island, especially during the week of Casa Amour. This is where existing contestants are separated into men and women groups and introduced to new contestants. If the relationship can last when your partner is not around to catch you cheating, then obviously they pass the test and will remain loyal. While this is in the extreme, Rachel says it’s not too far from what she sees in her appointments, “Yes, it’s a high-pressure environment so you see the worst of human behaviour more quickly, but it’s still human behaviour and that’s extremely relevant.”
However, how healthy is testing your partner? If you are constantly trying to catch your partner out, do you really have trust or intimacy within the relationship? Rachel calls these tests “an elaborate form of manipulation”. It can be a sign of ineffective communication, insecurities, or the fact you are terrified to get your heart broken again.
This is particularly revealing in younger people and the rise of social media. Often tests are used by young people who are still developing their communication skills, and do not know to effectively express their needs to their partner. However, it is not limited to young people, with older demographics also turning to tests as they have, “lost their ability to feel risk and vulnerability because they just can’t cope with the prospect of another heartbreak.”
While tests are a natural part of life, such as financial hardships, family issues, personal challenges – orchestrated tests can signify a much bigger problem.
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